…But the Spirit is willing!!
Lord, help us to see You when we start falling!
When we spend our time going after earthly things, worldly things, we wind up feeling shallow and empty. When we reach for worthless things, we feel worthless.
Whether we obtain them or not, even if we just simply fantasize about them, we end up feeling like scum, like trash, like dirt.
We wind up with exactly what we started out with-an empty vision, an empty head, an empty heart.
When we reach for things of God, however, we find ourselves feeling fulfilled. Even if we haven’t obtained any of it yet, we find that our heart is full, our mind is limitless, our vision is within reach.
That vision may be a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or maybe even many years ahead–but somehow when we focus on God, we find that we are able to see things more clearly. We find ourselves renewed, refreshed, fulfilled. Because the gap between us and God has closed. We are closer to Him and can feel His Fatherly Love pouring down upon us, in the tiniest of occasions and moments.
So why look to the things of this world to fulfill us when we know in our hearts that they can’t? Simply because we, as humans, have weak minds and weak hearts. We desire the here and now. We desire satisfaction in the moment. We can spend hours focused on even the idea of something that seems so pleasant, the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh–but when God gets our attention distracted back onto Him, we see it for what it truly was–a lure and a lie of Satan.
It’s then that our hearts truly feel the deep regret of the moments before. We all of a sudden feel dirty and cheap, our minds feel distorted and shamed. Our flesh feels violated, as if we have poured hot acid over our naked flesh. We feel shadow and exposed.
But even in the most dishonorable and despicable moments of our comeback to reality, the beauty in God is that He will open our eyes to see these things. He will allow us to realize that we were being dishonorable, as much as we may have, for whatever period of time, harbored sin in our heart.
He will allow us to feel the shame of our sinfulness–because He longs to bring us back close to His heart. He doesn’t want our hearts to grow cold and our desire for Him to fade. He’s the only source of the purest form of love that exists.
And when we have realized the depth once again of our sinfulness, and asked for His forgiveness from the depths of our heart, He will open our hearts to feel His love again, He will cleanse us once again under the fount of Jesus’ shed blood.
He will remind us that we do not belong to the world. We belong to Him and we are His. He will remind us from our hearts that there is nothing that can satisfy our deepest desires other than the richness and fullness of His love.
So when we feel our hearts growing weak, our minds weaker still, and our flesh about to give into the temptation at hand, let us not hesitate. Let us call upon Jesus then, throw ourselves at His feet, and beg for Him to pull us out of our pit of thinking. Sometimes He might say “Be still, and rest in Me”. Other times He might give us a complete distraction away from the subject at hand. Other times yet, He might just start filling us with His presence so that we know Who’s we are. Remember child, His burden is light and His yoke is easy.
So pour out your frustration to Him, be honest with Him. Let Him know that you are struggling–He knows and He sees already. Just let Him take you and wrap you in His arms, shelter you in His wings, remove the crimson stains that you might even be relishing in and reluctant to give up.
He can change the heart. Only He can. When we start relying on ourselves to change ourselves, we have lost sight of who He is–and we need Him to wash our feet again.
Let us not lose heart, let us fight the good fight of faith. Let us stay on our knees in our weakest moments—-those tend to be the moments we think we are the strongest. Let us remember that without Him, we are nothing. And in Him, we are His beloved.
And He is our everything.