If only I could bow at Your feet and praise You worthily all day long! And, at the end of that day, I don’t know what I would do, except want to praise You more!
You are Worthy, Lord, You are the Only One worthy of my praise.
When I praise myself and I praise others, my heart falls flat. My emotions that were once on top of the world fall into a deep chasm and I can’t seem to find the height of my love for You anymore. And it’s even harder to feel the love that You have for me. I know it’s still there, Lord. But I want to commune with You and I hate when I’ve done something to mess that up.
Lord, help me to get back on track. Help me to praise You with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, all my might. Help me to release anything that is coming up in between my heart and Yours. I want to be filled by You. I want to be used by You. I want to be Your vessel of love toward others.
But I’ve noticed that I am so tempted to start focusing on things that, even though they may be great and awesome gifts from You, they are not You. And when I do that, my love for You and for others grows cold.
Because I’ve tried to, subconsciously, take the vast Love that You have given me and I’m now trying to replicate it, to manufacture it for myself and for others. I am trying to pour out to others what You have so graciously poured into me.
And in return, I expect to be filled by You……but I have it backwards.
I can’t manufacture love in my own heart.
That’s one thing You taught me when You came to live inside me: I can’t even come close to praising You or loving You worthily without You in my heart first and foremost. And to love others, well that is only an extension of Your love that You are pouring into me. So, trying to manufacture it—well, it just doesn’t cut it.
And, when I forget that You are the Creator of Love and You are the Sustainer of all Life, I start thinking that somehow I can manufacture this love that wells up deeply within my heart. That love of Yours that wells up so strongly, to the point of pouring over and spilling over onto everything around me, inadvertently washing everything it splashes onto.
I can’t manufacture that kind of love, Lord.
Only You can.
I can try to manufacture worldly love. But when I have experienced the depth and breadth and height of Your endless love—even just the tiniest glimpse of it—I learn that nothing I can ever do, say, think, feel, will ever come close to the Love that You can create and You can fill me with.
So, help me to stop focusing on worldly things, Lord Jesus! Help me to stop thinking that I can manufacture this somehow within my heart, or I can scrounge enough of it up that others can feel it. Cause that kind of love—well, it is worldly. And it falls flat. Flatter than flat. Like it doesn’t really even exist Lord. Even though before I knew You, I knew some sort of worldly love that temporarily satisfied. But once I came to Know You, and my eyes were opened, and my heart was cleansed, and You poured Your Spirit into me, I realized that that worldly love was a farce—it was fake, it was conditional. It was not everlasting, it had an end, it had limits. But Lord Jesus, when you put Your love into me, and for the first time I experienced what True Love really was—I don’t want anything to ever fill my heart again—nothing but the Love of Jesus!
And I most certainly don’t want to give that worldly kind of love to anyone, Lord Jesus. Just like You didn’t skimp on the Love that You gave me, I don’t want to skimp on the love that pours forth from my heart to others!
Tear down the walls that are keeping me from You, Lord Jesus! Tear down the pride and self-righteousness that have slowly crept back in and started building themselves back into a glass wall before my eyes—a wall that I still have a hard time seeing.
But when I stop feeling Your presence, I know something is amiss. And I desperately want that connection with You back. I don’t want to live another moment without feeling You pouring into my heart, and I don’t want to live another day with this wall between You and I. I want to praise You worthily, and I can’t do that looking through my glass wall of self-righteousness, self-indulgences, and pride.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus—Nothing but the Love of Jesus.
Oh Lord, that’s all I want to ever fill my heart, my mind, my thoughts, my emotions, my everything Lord! I surrender to Your will, I submit my heart to Yours. Lord Jesus help me to praise You worthily for the rest of the days of my life—-which is everlasting!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂