An Apology to my friends, near and far

Sometimes I just sit and wonder, who is going to be with me in heaven?  I start thinking of all the friends and family in Christ that He has blessed me with since I came to know Him, and I am just floored by His magnificent Love for me, and the fact that He made me His child, purchasing me from His own righteous wrath with the redeeming blood of His Son, my Lord, my Friend, my Savior Jesus!

My heart is just overflowing to think of the beauty that He has bestowed upon me. Though I was an unworthy sinner separated from God, I’ve been made righteous through the fount of my Savior’s precious blood! Thank You, Lord!

I don’t always get it right and if I have caused you hurt it was never intentional. I’m sorry for the times I’ve tried to take on role of my Savior, instead of letting Him just use me.  Yes, sometimes, more often than not I’m afraid, I get it wrong. Because I’m not perfect.  I will not be on this earth. But I do love a perfect God who is merciful and forgiving and gracious and restores.  And I am indwelled by the Spirit of the One I love! And He is gracious to let me keep learning and keep being renewed and perfected in Him alone.

I want everyone that I know to be with me in Paradise…. Whether or not we are close or friend on this earth does not matter.  This is the cry of my heart. I lived for 23 years after “saying a prayer” thinking that “I must be good, cause I said the prayer”… But only to realize I’d never really known Him and was still under His wrath.

I was deceived, plain and simple. I hadn’t laid down my life in exchange for His.  I thought I could just pick Him up and put Him in my back pocket and continue to live how I wanted to live.  I did not realize that He could, and would, change my life to reflect His holiness, to reflect Him. 

That He could change my heart.   You see, it’s not about simply saying a prayer. It’s about believing from the depths of your heart that you (we all are) unworthy of His love and mercy, and deserving of His wrath, but understanding that out of His love for us, He came to die on our behalf.  And from that understanding, accepting the sacrificial life of Jesus for our sins.

It’s about knowing that we are unworthy and nothing on our own, and that we need Him to cover all our sins.

Its only when I came to this full understanding of total depravity that He saved me!!  When I laid down my life and chose to instead follow Him, instead of hanging onto every false idol and every false attempt at satisfaction in this world. 

I’m so grateful that He called to me, He opened my eyes to that fact, and He kept me alive on this earth long enough that I could see that I didn’t know Him. And gave me the chance to truly know and fall in love with Him.

He kept me, protected me, and loved me enough to speak those hard, truth convicting words into my soul so that I could understand that I did truly need Him. 

I just ask you, please, please examine your heart. Make sure that you know–that you know–that you know–that you *are* truly a child of God.  I want to see you again, I want us all to live together in unity and peace and joy for eternity, worshipping our God and our Savior together!

I don’t even have to know you and I love you, because I love with the love that Christ Jesus pours through me. I am simply God’s vessel to spread love, pure unadulterated love to my fellow man.

Out of His love flow many blessings. I can’t get enough! He’s just Incredible and Awesome šŸ™‚

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